


Tomorrow Will Be a Better Day

by jeonhyvngs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Child Abuse, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Heavy Angst, Hyunjin is 17, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Poverty, Sexual Abuse, Smoking, This is really sad I aplogize, Trauma, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29637708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonhyvngs/pseuds/jeonhyvngs
Summary: After the death of his his older brother, Hyunjin was left alone to tend to his abusive, alcohol addicted, drug addicted, sick parents. With no job, little money, and his house falling apart..Hyunjin struggles to keep himself and his family afloat.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Comments: 16
Kudos: 33





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first work on ao3 so i apologize for any mistakes :>  
> this will have a lot of triggering topics, so there will be a trigger warning for each chapter  
> this chapter contains  
> \- death/mentions of death  
> \- alcohol abuse  
> \- drug abuse  
> \- physical abuse  
> \- verbal abuse  
> \- referenced sexual abuse
> 
> if i missed any tags, please comment and let me know!

_ Tomorrow will be a better day. _

Rain. The soft and quiet pitter patter of rain on the roof. The ground is muddy, big puddles scattered across the gravel road. I don't have a car, so I'm left to walk through the mud. The shop was about five miles away from home, so I had to leave early if I wanted to get anything. My brother usually did this job, riding his motorbike for the five miles it took to get there. It took him ten minutes max to get to the shop, buy what we needed, and make it home. Hyung was good at things like this, although I know he didn't like doing them.

It had been raining a lot the past couple months. My boots were getting worn down, but I didn't have enough money to buy new ones. It was either buy new boots, or buy food, water, and medicine for me and my parents. So I kept these boots, although some of the mud leaked into the shoe and onto my foot. I didn't wear socks, since they weren't exactly necessary to me, and I needed to save all the money possible.

My legs were aching once I finally reached the shop. I looked out of place, my ripped jeans, sweatshirt, and broken boots. Everyone else there had umbrellas, nice clothes, and boots that weren't broken. They all had money as well. The shop owner knew my hyung well, but me..not as much. I only had a couple dollar bills and coins, but that should be enough for rations. 

"How much can I get for uh...around five and a half dollars?" I asked the owner. This shop wasn't by any means fancy, but people like me weren't the norm either. Middle class people shopped here, not poor people like me. "Fruits and bread don't cost very much. Do you need water as well?" The shop owner replied. "Yeah...I need some medicine as well. My brother, Chan, used to come here and buy things. Do you remember him?" I asked, hoping the shop owner recognized the name. 

"Hwang Chan?" He asked. I nodded. "Of course I remember him. What happened to that boy? I haven't seen him in a few weeks." The shop owner said, motioning for me to follow him. "He's not around anymore." I said, giving the vaguest explanation possible. The shop owner seemed to be satisfied, and led me over to the "cheap section", as people called it.

I recognized some of the brands my brother had bought, pointing them out. The shop owner remembered the brand of medicine he always asked for, and grabbed that on the way to check out. I handed him the money and paid. I was glad to find out that I had five cents left over. The shop owner put my goods in a bag, handing it to me. He said goodbye and I thanked him, quickly making my way out of the shop and back home.

I could hear my parents yelling before I even got in the house. I assumed that one (or both) of them were drunk or high. They didn't notice that I was in the house until I cleared my throat. "Your medicine is here." I said to my mother. "I couldn't get nearly as much as Chan, but this should suffice. At least until I get more money." I said, pouring the amount of medicine my mother needed to take. She took it quickly, noticing the size of the bottle and shaking her head.

"Your brother could've gotten something twice that size, Hyunjin." She said, shaking her head. "I know, mom. But I don't have enough money." She rolled her eyes. "You need to get more money. No matter how hard it was, your brother always got what we needed. This isn't enough." I hated it when my mother did this. She compared me to my brother all the time. I knew that I wasn't as good as him. I wasn't wanted like he was, I wasn't smart like he was, I didn't get as much money as he did. I knew that I was the least favorite.

"I know, mom. I'm trying." I said with a sigh. My mother and father had enough money to buy groceries, but they blew it all on drugs and alcohol. They were drunk or high almost every night. My brother was the closest thing to a parent I ever got, and he was only five years older than me. Unlike me, my brother got a job. He graduated high school and was in college on a scholarship. My parents spent money on him, leaving me with nothing. The education I got was from my brother, not someone who was trained in education.

My mother just shook her head, downing the rest of the whiskey bottle that was in her hand. My father, on the other hand, had taken to fixing his needle. I left the house, not wanting to stick around to see how drunk and high they got. I rarely ever stayed home, even if the weather was really bad. I mostly hung around the local high school, trying my best to fit in with the other kids.

I didn't really do anything. Occasionally a kid would approach me and I'd talk to them, but most of the time I was left to my own thoughts. I imagined what life would be like if my parents weren't negligent. I imagined what life would be like if I got to be a normal kid. I imagined the life that I could never have.

Imagining things like this would make most people upset, but not me. I don't cry. Not even when my brother died. I didn't think I could feel pain for a long time. It never hurt when my parents yelled at me. It never hurt when Chan would break down, telling me how he tries so hard, only for his parents to blow their money on drugs and alcohol. The only pain I think I've ever felt was when my brother died.

I spent the rest of my day at a bench outside the school, only starting to walk home at sunset. There weren't any kids around, except for one teen on his skateboard. He had nice clothes, unlike me. His shoes looked like they'd cost at least ten times what I get each year. He saw me, waving and smiling. I looked up at him, waving but not returning the smile.

I slowly made my way home. When I arrived back, I saw that there was a leak in the roof. I'd have to fix that tomorrow. My mother was black out drunk, and my father was high off his ass. "Hyunjin." He said, sounding like literal death. "What, Dad? Do you need something? I have five cents left over. I can-" He put a hand over my mouth. I was scared. My father did terrible things when he was high. He didn't remember what he did...but I always remembered. The mental and physical scars were proof, no matter how much my father denied what he did.

He grabbed my throat, keeping his other hand on my mouth. He squeezed tight, causing me to struggle to breathe. He let go after about thirty seconds, and I immediately slid down to the ground, taking a huge breath. He kicked me the stomach before I got a chance to fully catch my breath, making me even more winded. "I wish you were more like your brother." He said. "You weren't even supposed to be born, Hyunjin." "I...I know…" I said, out of breath.

Once I caught my breath, I stumbled my way to my bedroom, carefully shutting the door. I closed my curtains and checked the time on the clock. I was surprised that the clock still worked. My brother bought that clock ten years ago, yet it still works. It's an old, rickety clock, but it works. I got into bed, trying to relax the best I could. I rarely ever got a good night's sleep. I'd usually get woken up in the middle of the night, either by my parents or the weather.

I did eventually fall asleep, my mind clear except for one thought...A thought of hope…

_Tomorrow will be a better day._


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay wow i wasn't expecting anyone to read this but i'm glad yall like it :D  
> trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> \- verbal abuse  
> \- physical abuse  
> \- somewhat sexual abuse

_ It was never a better day. _

I hated winter. It was always cold, wet, and gross during the winter months, especially when it snowed. Thankfully, I didn't live in a place where it snowed too much. It did snow, but it wasn't enough to stop people from continuing their daily lives. I did hate waking up to snow, though. There was no heating in my house, and walking up to the shop was much more difficult in snowy weather. When it snows, being outside isn't much better than being at home.

I wished I could lay in bed all day, but I had to get up and do things. I had to make sure my parents were okay (and didn't eat all the food) and fix the leak in the roof. My mother was still asleep, but my father was wide awake. He wasn't drunk or high for a change. I didn't say anything, just looked at him.

I took out what I had bought from the shop and decided how I would split it up. I gave myself the least amount of food. I probably didn't need it as much as my parents did, especially my mother. "This is yours, this is Mom's, and this is mine." I said to my father, pointing at the three piles of food and water. "If you're not gonna drink the water, give it to me." I said, my father nodding in response. He didn't talk much when he was sober, unless it was to argue with my mother or tell me how much of a failure I am. Then again, he did that when he was drunk too.

I decided to leave the house. I needed to get something to fix the leak and considering that it was snowing, the longer I waited, the harder it would be to get there and back home. My father didn't say anything when I left, he barely even acknowledged that I was gone. I took an apple with me, knowing that I did in fact need food. I got hungry, but I got used to the feeling of hunger. Sometimes I had to remind myself to eat.

I walked back up to the high school, wiping off some snow from a bench then sitting down. I sat there for a while, taking small bites from the apple. I should've been walking around town trying to get money, but I didn't. I sat on the bench, eating the apple and observing the road. There weren't many people out, considering that it was snowing and there was no school.

Though, I did see the same kid from yesterday. He had a dog with him this time, a little one. I guess the boy recognized me, because he walked over to where I was sitting. It wasn't rare that someone would talk to me, but it wasn't common either. People mostly asked me why I hung out around the school if I didn't go there, or why I looked so strange. Apparently the more wealthy kids have never heard of poor folk.

"Hey. I saw you here yesterday." The boy said. I nodded. I rarely said anything when kids at the school talked to me. I didn't need them to pity me or make fun of me. They didn't need to know anything about me, nor did they care. The boy didn't say anything for a while, just watching his dog sniff about. "You don't live around here, do you?" He said suddenly.

It was quite obvious that I wasn't from where he was. I was skinny, my clothes were dirty and ripped, I had bruises all over me, and I was nibbling at an apple. I was practically telling him that I was poor. I shook my head, although his question was obviously rhetorical. I looked at the boy, it seemed like he had a lot to say. He was thinking.

"You don't go here either, do you?" He said. I shook my head, although it was, again, not needed. I saw the look of confusion on his face, which is what most people looked like when I told them that. The next question would usually be "Why do you hang out there, then?" and to that I would respond with a shrug of my shoulders. "Where do you go to school then?" He asked. "Nowhere...Don't go to school." I responded.

There were more minutes of awkward silence before I finished my apple, standing up and throwing it away. I debated on asking him for money, not really wanting to come off as a douchebag. "Do you know how to fix a leak in your roof?" I asked. "If it's a small leak in the ceiling, you could use duct tape as a temporary solution." He said.

I could get duct tape for a dollar. "Can I borrow a dollar? For some tape." I asked. I was expecting him to question why I didn't have a dollar, but he didn't. He just gave me a dollar. I nodded, as to say goodbye, then walked to the shop. I gave the shop owner a dollar for the tape, then left to go home. I wondered why that boy chose to talk to me, and not just ignore me like most people do. I shook off the thought and continued walking home.

My father was no longer sober when I arrived home. I was in the middle of getting some tape to put over the leak, when my father pushed me into the wall. My head hit the wall hard. I didn't know why he was mad at me this time. He didn't even have to have a reason. "Our lives would be so much better without you." He said. The smell of alcohol on his breath made me want to gag.

I don't know if I heard or felt the slap first. Either way, he'd slapped me across the face as hard as he could. I didn't say anything, just stared at him. He punched me in the stomach. "Good for nothing bitch." He cursed. His voice was deep, he sounded like what I imagined the devil would sound like. 

But I wasn't afraid of him. I used to be afraid when I was younger, but not anymore. It's become routine. He continued his abuse, kicking and punching me until I was too weak to stand. "Pathetic." He rolled his eyes. Of course he thought I was pathetic. 

He picked me up and stripped me down, leaving me naked on the floor. I don't know what part of hurting me he got sexual gratification from, but this happened every time. He hit and kicked me until I was too weak to stand, then masturbated over my body. I'd lay there, covered in blood, bruises, and semen. But I was too weak to do anything about it. So I just laid on the floor. I felt disgusting, covered in both my blood and my own father's semen. It made me want to vomit.

As I felt myself fade into unconsciousness...I tried to remain hopeful. Maybe, just maybe…

_Tomorrow will be a better day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most, if not all, of these chapters are unedited so i apologize for any misspellings/grammar mistakes. thanks so much for reading! stay safe loves <3


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these warnings are getting quite repetitive and it's only the third chapter...i dont know if thats a good or bad thing tbh  
> anyways enjoy this chapter, i'm still putting warnings just in case. dont wanna trigger anyone!  
> \- verbal abuse  
> \- physical abuse  
> \- vomit (is that a trigger? ik some people dont like it so im putting it just in case)  
> \- blood  
> if i missed any, please let me know!

_ Every day was a bad day. _

Some days I woke up by choking on my own blood. I didn't have any recollection of what happened the night before, or what the cause of my bleeding was. Well, it was obviously my parents, but I have no idea what they did. I didn't like those days...or nights. Nights where my parents (mostly my father) would wake me up just to hurt me, then I'd pass out again. Then the days after, where I woke up to blood everywhere.

I felt too weak to get up. I coughed up blood. I should've been tending to my wounds, but I didn't. They'd just get reopened anyway. I just laid in my bed, blanket draped over me and staring out the window. There wasn't ever much to see out the window. Occasionally someone walking their dog would pass by, paying no attention to our house whatsoever.

I saw the boy with his dog and two friends (who also had dogs) walking by my house. I was tempted to get up, but I didn't. I stayed put. The boys stopped in front of my house, looking concerned. Two of their dogs had to use the bathroom, but the boys didn't seem to be paying attention to that. I assumed that they heard my parents arguing. They were quite loud, after all.

I didn't hear what they were arguing about. I learned to tune it out. The boys were talking to each other, probably either making fun of my parents or debating on calling the cops. I wondered what they were thinking. I wondered if the boy was thinking about me. Probably not. They ended up moving along after their dogs finished using the bathroom.

I sighed. I had a chance to tell someone about the hellhole I was living in, but I didn't. I had a chance to reach out for help, but I didn't. I stayed in bed, watching silently as my chance for help walked away. Maybe my father was right. Maybe I am pathetic. Maybe I do deserve this.

The next day seemed like it would be much more bearable. It wasn’t. My mother was sober, and my father was vomiting due to a massive hangover, but he was still sober. "Good morning." My mother said tiredly. I nodded. My mother scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Not even going to say good morning to your own mother, Hyunjin? Ungrateful bastard." She said. It was my turn to roll my eyes.

"There's nothing to be grateful for." I said with a monotone voice. "We gave life to you, Hyunjin. We gave you life. We gave you food. We gave you-" I cut her off. "You had unprotected sex and had me. You didn't want me. You've never treated me like you wanted me." I said with the same monotone voice.

My father stumbled up and punched me in the face. "You don't speak to your parents like that." He said, punching me again for emphasis. "Chan was a better parent to me than you, my actual parents." I said. I should've known better than to fight with them, but apparently he'd punched the sense right out of me.

He punched me again, causing me to cough up more blood. I don't know what I was thinking, but I punched him as hard as I could, causing him to fall over. In his half awake and hungover state, he was pretty weak. I took a second to catch my breath, before realizing what I had done. My father was on the floor, cursing yet not doing anything to get up. My mother was looking at me in shock.

I quickly grabbed a water bottle and ran out of the house. I'd never done anything like that before. I'd never thought of doing anything like that before. I was scared. What kind of idiot was I for not only talking back, but punching my father? I was only putting myself in more danger. Stupid.

I ran until I couldn't anymore. I didn't have a specific destination, I just ran. I wanted to get away from my parents. I don't know how far I ran. I ran until my legs gave out and I could barely breathe. I was hyperventilating, breathing heavily. I was freezing cold. I couldn't lay there long, or I'd get frostbite...or whatever it is you got from being out in the cold too long.

I eventually fell asleep, being too exhausted to move...or do anything. When I woke up, I quickly realized that I didn't know where I was. I saw that there was someone...or something, I should say...with me. A stray cat had found its way onto my lap. I smiled, I always took a liking to animals. The cat seemed to like me, happily letting me pick it up.

"You're cute." I said to the cat. "I'm gonna name you...Min. Would you like to come home with me, Min?" The cat looked happy. I kissed it's head. "Let's go home." I stood up, groaning at the pain in my stomach. I looked around to see where I was. I didn't know where I was. I started walking, hoping that I was going in the right direction and would end up home.

I did eventually find my way home. It was almost sunset by then. Min was asleep in my arms. I was tired. I walked in, and the house reeked of vomit. I looked down, and there was vomit everywhere. I guess I knew what I'd be doing that night. I put Min in my room and shut the door, whispering that I'd be right back. I felt hands on my hips and immediately froze.

"You're back, sweetheart…"

_Tomorrow will not be a better day._


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such short chapters! im not good at writing long ones but i hope me updating quite often will suffice :>  
> thank you so so so much for all the love so far. i wasnt expecting anyone to read this at all :0
> 
> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT
> 
> this chapter was quite hard for me to write, being a victim myself, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless. this chapter may be poorly written due to the fact that this was so tough for me to write. if you are sensitive to sexual assault, PLEASE DO NOT READ. i dont want anyone to be triggered by my work. if you think it will trigger you, please skip.
> 
> i love you all and enjoy!

My father never used terms of endearment with me, unless he was hurting me. And even when he did, it was obvious that he didn't mean them. He just said them to fuck with me. It worked at first. I tricked myself into believing that he was doing this because he loved me. But I dropped that mindset pretty quickly. He didn't love me. He could never love me.

It was sort of a signal that he was about to hurt me when my father said something sweet.

His grip on my hips was rough, digging his fingers into my skin through my clothes. He quickly stripped me down. "Be good. This is your punishment." My father said, and I nodded. I used to fight against him when he did this, but not anymore. I learned to sit there and take it. The pain would be over sooner.

I heard him strip himself down. Chills went down my spine out of nervousness. He slapped my ass harshly, laughing as he did it. He enjoyed this. He enjoyed hurting me. There was about a minute from when he slapped me to when he entered me. He didn't take any time before thrusting into me, not worrying about if he was hurting me. He was trying to hurt me, and doing a good job at it.

My hole burned, and his grip on my hips was extremely strong. It would probably leave some bruises later. He thrusted into me at a fast pace. I felt as if my ass and hips were on fire. I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't react whatsoever. My father continued thrusting in and out of me, his his slapping against my ass.

Eventually, he reached his high, releasing his semen into me. He slapped my ass a couple times again before pulling out. I felt the semen leak out of me, as well as blood. My father put his clothes back on, picking up a soju bottle and taking a sip. I, on the other hand, put my clothes back on and went into my room, shutting the door behind me.

Min was sitting there waiting for me. I smiled, bending down to pick him up. I groaned. My whole body ached. Once I picked Min up, I limped over to my bed, cursing underneath my breath as I sat down. I put Min down next to me. He immediately stood up and crawled into my lap. I pet him slowly, trying to forget what happened. 

I couldn't forget.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run out and scream for help. But I did none of those things. I sat on my bed, staring outside as it became dark. I was glad Min was there. I now had someone, even if it wasn't a person. Min would listen. Min wouldn't judge. Min would be there for me. Min would comfort me, without needing to say anything. His presence was comforting in itself.

I liked animals, especially cats, for that reason. They were comforting. They would always be there for you. They wouldn't hurt you, and even if they did, you would heal. They couldn't give you mental scars. They couldn't hurt you the way humans could. They couldn't do something as bad as what my parents did.

I didn't sleep that night. My body ached too much for me to focus on anything but the pain. I stared outside, watching as it turned from evening, to night, to morning. I didn't notice my father walk in until he asked what I had in my lap. He was sober, but extremely hungover. I glared at him. "A cat." I said, no emotion in my voice. I wasn't feeling anything...except pain. 

The pain I felt was strange. It hurt...but it didn't hurt. It hurt physically, but I never cried. It never bothered me too much. I only felt physical feelings, like aches and tiredness. I used to feel real pain. I used to feel emotions. But now...not anymore. I felt pain...but I didn't. I didn't like feeling like this.

I got up, taking Min with me. I decided to leave the house. Some of the snow had melted by now, making my walk slightly more easy. I walked up to the high school. I didn't know where else to go.

The boy was there again, this time without his dog. He was holding a mobile phone in his hands. My brother had told me about those, but I didn't understand them. I'd never had access to the internet...or a phone...or a calculator...or anything. That boy was lucky.

He noticed that I was there, and walked over to me. "Hello." He said. He noticed my cat and smiled. His smile was genuine. I hadn't seen a smile that genuine in...in as long as I can remember. "This is Min." I said. He smiled, petting Min. "Hi, Min." I was going to tell him more, but I didn't. I decided to let him do the talking.

"I never got your name." He said. "I never told you it." I shrugged. "Well, what is it?" "Hwang Hyunjin." I hadn't had to introduce myself in a long time. I was surprised that I even remembered my name. I hadn't said it in years, and my parents didn't say it much, neither did Chan.

"I'm Felix." He said happily. He always seemed to be happy. I wanted that. I guess I started getting lost in thought, because he snapped in front of my face. "You there?" He said with a chuckle. I didn't find whatever he was laughing at funny.

I looked at him, and I guess he'd avoided looking at my face, because he immediately frowned. "Are you okay? You don't look good…" He asked.

_This is your chance, Hyunjin. This is your chance to escape. This is your chance to get help. Say something._

"I'm fine."

_Stupid!_

I know he didn't believe me, but he didn't want to pressure me, which was nice. He seemed to care. I wasn't used to someone that's not my brother caring about me. I didn't know why he'd be caring about me. I didn't know him, he didn't know me, so why did he care? Maybe it was normal, and I just wasn't used to it.

But...people usually looked at me and my brother with disgust. So...why didn't he? What was different?

This boy, Felix, was interesting. He wasn't like most people that I passed by. He wasn't like the other kids. He was genuine. He was caring. I wanted to know more...I wanted to know why

I wanted to know why he cared. Why he talked to me. Why he was nice. Why he was so genuine. Why he was different. I also wanted to know why I cared. Why was I so interested about this boy who I just met? Why was I so curious when we knew nothing about each other?

We sat in silence for a little while before Min started clawing at my jeans. He looked hungry. I didn't have any food for myself, let alone a cat. "Felix." I said. "Min is hungry. I don't have any food." Felix smiled and handed me a ten dollar bill. He gave me a look that seemingly said "It's okay, take the money." I thanked him, said goodbye, picked up Min, and went to buy him some food.

After I had bought the food and was on my way some, I couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't stop thinking about me...and Felix...and Min. I couldn't help but bash myself. I had the chance to tell someone what was happening. I had the chance to tell someone that I was raped the day before. But for whatever dumb reason, I didn't. 

My parents were both passed out when I arrived home. Good luck, I guess. I took Min into my room and gave him some food. I felt bad for taking in Min when I barely had the money to take care of myself and my parents, but I tried to ignore it. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

Meeting someone like Felix was the smallest ray of hope. Maybe, somehow, I'd escape. Someday I'd get the courage to tell Felix (or someone else) what was going on at home. As I drifted into dreamland, I kept my mind open. I stayed hopeful.

_Tomorrow will be a better day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the way, if you're wondering what kind of cat min is, i imagine him as an orange tabby. sort of looking like soonie. i had a cat named mitts who was the most adorable lil tabby cat, so i wanted to put one here.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm on mobile so i apologize for any formag issues. usually update on pc but i was too lazy lol  
> anyways enjoy this chapter   
> it has all the usual warnings as well as homophobia and death threats

I slept surprisingly well that night. I had a lot of sleepless nights since my brother died, so it was nice to finally get some good sleep. It was nice to wake up, my door still shut and not having any fresh blood on me. I looked down at myself, skinny and covered in bruises. My skin was so covered that you could barely see the natural color of my skin. I looked like hell.

I wondered how I was still alive. I was abused almost daily, I was raped, and I barely ate. I should be dead with the amount of blood I've lost, along with the fact that I'm so skinny that you can see my ribs. I'm basically a bag of bones. I'm a walking dead person. Why didn't Felix walk away when I looked like this? Shouldn't he be scared?

I sighed and got out of bed. Both my parents were awake. My father was high...or drunk...I couldn't tell. My mother was somewhat sober, she'd only had a bit of alcohol. Min followed me out of my room. He could barely walk without stepping on a bottle or needle. I picked him up, I didn't want him to get hurt.

I rarely felt genuine care or love from someone else. In fact, the only person who I felt it from was my brother. But ever since he died, I didn't feel any of that anymore. The months seemed so long, that I forgot what it was like to feel that someone cares. I wondered if Felix had felt that love and care. He probably had, he himself seemed like someone who would give that love and care unconditionally.

I took Min outside with me. It probably wasn't healthy for a cat to be around all the substances my parents used, so I wanted to take him out as much as possible. I didn't take Min up to the high school, I took him to the field across the street. I wanted to give Min time to explore. Plus, if he happened to find food there...that's less money that I have to spend. And if Felix really wanted to see me, he could.

I sat on the ground and watched Min. I played with him when he wanted to play, and watched him when he slept. I only went back to the house to go to the bathroom or get water. I was playing with Min when I heard footsteps. It didn't sound like someone was walking down from the road, it sounded like they were coming from behind me. I turned around to see my father, beer bottle in hand and looking tired.

"I saw you and that boy yesterday." He said with a deep, raspy voice. "And?" "It would be a shame if that cat of yours got hurt, wouldn't it." I wanted to punch that smirk right off his face. "You hurt him and you're a dead man." I said, glaring at him. He was amused. "That's cute. I'm just reminding you of what happens if you decide to become a bitch boy like your brother." I rolled my eyes. My brother was gay, and my father always hated that. If there was anything he didn't like about Chan, it was his sexuality.

"Chan wasn't a bitch boy. And I just met this kid." My father didn't like my response, and he slapped me across the face. "You don't want to end up like him, do you?" He put a hand on my back. I could tell what he was trying to do. Min was laying on my lap now. I picked Min up and stood up, moving away from my father. He tried to grab my hips, but failed. You don't have the best coordination skills when you're drunk...or high.

He stumbled to his feet and tried to grab Min. Min squirmed around in my arms. "I told you, hurt him and you're a dead man. I don't break promises." I said with an aggressive tone. "I'm not afraid of you anymore." My father rolled his eyes. He grabbed my neck. My arms naturally went to my sides, and Min fell. He squeezed my neck, giving me little breathing room. I choked, but he didn't relent, squeezing my neck like a stress ball.

I felt lightheaded and dizzy when he let go. As soon as his grip was released from my neck, I fell to the ground. My head hit the gravel hard, and I could feel the smallest amount of blood pour out of my head. My body felt limp and lifeless, yet I was awake. My father went back inside, meanwhile Min curled up next to me.

I eventually felt two hands trying to shake me awake. I assumed that they were my father's and brushed them off. "Just...leave if you're here to hurt me." I said out of breath. "I can't breathe…" I rarely begged like this, but I felt pathetic. It was really hard to breathe. "What? Why would I be here to hurt you?" I recognized that deep voice.

"Felix?" I asked, still not opening my eyes. "Yeah, it's me. I came down here to ask if you want to go on a walk with me, but you obviously can't. Do you need help? Need me to call someone?" "No!" I yelled. "I mean uh...No, it's fine." I opened my eyes and slowly sat up, feeling the back of my head for blood. There was a bit, but not too much. Felix picked up Min.

"What happened?" He asked.

_ Come on. You've had so many chances. Don't blow it again. Tell him. Tell him what's been happening. Tell him what your father just did. Do it. You'll be better. Life will be better _ .

I bit my lip. "Long story."

"Well good thing I have a while." Felix sat down and put an arm around me. "Cmon Hyunjin, you can tell me." He said with a smile.

_Goddammit Hyunjin! Tell him!_

I wanted to tell him. I really wanted to tell him. But...I couldn't. Something in me was holding me back.

Felix could sense that something was wrong. His smile turned to a frown and he held me closer to him. He didn't say anything though, just holding me. I felt somewhat...at ease. It felt like he understood, even though he had no idea what was going on. He had the same warm and comforting feeling that my brother did. Neither of them needed to say anything to make me feel comforted. But Felix felt...different, and I didn't know why.

We sat there in silence before Felix finally spoke up. "Hey, do you wanna come over to my place for some food?" He asked, smiling again. Food sounded nice. He probably had nice food. He probably had more food at his house than I could get in a month. I wonder what kind of food he had. I probably couldn't even imagine the kind of food he had.

I guess I spaced out, because Felix snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Hyunjin? You alright?" I snapped out of it and looked at him. He looked concerned. I felt bad for making him worry. "Yeah…" I said quietly. "So? Wanna come over?" I nodded. I hoped that my father wasn't watching us...God forbid listening to our conversation. "Can Min come? I don't wanna leave him alone with my parents." Felix nodded, still holding Min.

And so we left, walking to Felix's house. As we walked, I couldn't help but smile to myself. I felt...happy? No, that wasn't the word. Happiness isn't what I'd describe it as. Maybe...content. I felt content.

_ Today was okay. Maybe tomorrow will be okay too...or better. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating for a while! been busy with school n some other stuff, still hope you enjoyed this chapter tho! <3


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